Gelastic Sun
by LordYoyo
Summary: Humor for the wise, humor of Golden Sun, Isaac's going crazy, and we're...AHHHHHH!
1. The Boulder Attacks!

Golden Sun: What You Call Messed Up  
  
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Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun, and neither do you. It's owned by Camelot! Unless of course, you're Camelot, then I have nothing to say. I do have a version of the games, however, but that doesn't count. This is an attempted humorous retelling of the beginning of Golden Sun, with its constant twists. And what Adept am I? wario taboo says Mars...hehe! Thanks to wario taboo for SOME funny phrases in this first chapter.  
  
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Chapter 1: The Boulder Attacks!  
  
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Dora: Isaac, wake up!  
  
Isaac: NO! I'm tired from staying up till midnight to play Golden Sun!  
  
Dora: Please, dear, wake up!  
  
Isaac: Is the sun finally out? There's only been sun once for 45 years!  
  
Dora: The Mt. Aleph boulder is going to fall!  
  
Isaac: So? *continues sleeping*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: *ignores Dora*  
  
Dora: If it falls there's no breakfast tomorrow!  
  
Isaac: *pretends to yawn*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: *pretends to be fast asleep*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: ZZZ...  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: Grrr fine! I'm tired!   
  
Isaac: *gets up and falls back into bed*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: The repetitiveness is getting on my nerves...*throws pillow*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: Fine, fine! *gets up for real*  
  
Dora: Isaac! You forgot something!   
  
Dora: *uses Catch Psynergy to grab Isaac's tunic*  
  
Dora: It's pouring out without your tunic!  
  
Isaac: NOT THE TUNIC AGAIN!  
  
Dora: ^_^  
  
Isaac: Oh, that thing. Is that even mine?  
  
Dora: *puts it on Isaac*  
  
Isaac: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO anything but this!  
  
Dora: Have you got everything you need?  
  
Isaac: No...Let's see...I'm missing my Golden Sun games, my Game Boy Advance SP, my GameCube, my Sol Blade...  
  
Dora: I'm sorry, but we don't have time. You'll have to leave it behind.  
  
Isaac: Come on, just let me die. I have the Revive Psynergy to heal myself anyway. And maybe it occurs to you that I said SIX objects, not ONE, which would make it "them"! *heads back up the stairs*  
  
Dora: *throws him down the stairs*  
  
Kyle: *comes in the house* Isaac, Dora, hurry! The boulder could fall at any second!  
  
Isaac: Like now? *waits a second* Or now? *waits a second* Or now? How dramatic!   
  
*Kyle and Dora walk out of the house, Isaac goes back up the stairs*  
  
Dora: *throws Isaac down the stairs and out of the house*   
  
Dora: Kyle...Will they be able to stop the boulder?  
  
Isaac: No, they won't. We'll all die a miserable death anyway! Now let me get my Game Boy Advance! *heads back into the house*  
  
Dora: *goes back in and throws Isaac out of the house AGAIN*  
  
Issac: Mom, I hate you! My Golden Sun! :(  
  
Kyle: *shakes head* I don't think so. Not for long, anyway.   
  
Isaac: *shakes head grinning*  
  
Kyle: You two go and take refuge in the plaza.  
  
Isaac: Where can I get this pizza?: I love pizza? Just hang on...I have to get my batteries.  
  
Dora: Aren't you coming.  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Dora: *confused look* Aren't you coming? *grabs Isaac by the leash*  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Kyle: *shakes head* I need to help evacuate the other villagers.  
  
Isaac: Let them die already!  
  
Dora: Let me help you, Kyle! *holds on to Isaac by the leash*  
  
Kyle: It's too dangerous, Dora! Please, just take good care of Isaac!  
  
Isaac: Why can't everyone in Vale just die?  
  
Dora: Bad Isaac! Stop wishing death on people!  
  
Isaac: ^_^  
  
Kyle: It's too dangerous, Dora! Please, just take good care of Isaac!  
  
Dora: *shakes head* Isaac is old enough to get to the plaza on his own. You can find your way, can't you Isaac?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Dora: You know the way...just go south to get to the plaza. Be careful!  
  
Isaac: Yeah, after I get my Game Boy Advance and more sleep *heads back in the house*  
  
*Dora goes back in and throws him out*  
  
Dora: Come on, Isaac. We have to go - now!  
  
Isaac: Why should I go? No time. The seconds are ticking away! We're all going to die!  
  
*Dora and Kyle head north and leave*  
  
Isaac: *goes back inside, heads into bed, and goes back to sleep*  
  
*Invisible force throws him out of the house*  
  
Isaac: O_o Heck...there's this stairway that goes south toward the pizza. Let's try going left 2 spaces, down one, and down the stairway!  
  
*boulder from the eastern cliff falls right onto the stairway, cutting Isaac off*  
  
Isaac: Good...now that the boulder is finally killed no one, back to sleep! w00t! *goes back inside and into bed*  
  
*Invisible force throws him back out*  
  
Isaac: Can't I get any security? I can't even go into my own house! Damn Ivan. I told him not to get the Force Psynergy.   
  
Isaac: *walks a little northwest down another stairway*   
  
*Another boulder falls from the eastern cliff out of nowhere to block Isaac*  
  
Isaac: WOO! I'll just go back to the house north of my house and see if that stairway up unleashes another boulder!  
  
Isaac: *walks up the stairway* I see the boulder...but it's not moving! Mia, lift it! *goes above the house*  
  
Garet: Ugh...Hrnghhh...  
  
Isaac: *confused* Do you have Golden Sun? I'll battle you!   
  
Garet: Isaac, what do you want? I'm trying to save my things?  
  
Isaac: What valuables do you have? Do you have money? I could use some...you see I'm trying to bribe Camelot into making a Golden Sun 3.  
  
Garet: What, you want me to just dump my stuff?  
  
Isaac: Yes. Well, we can always compromise if you have Golden Sun...  
  
Garet: You think I should forget these things and save my own life?  
  
Isaac: Since when did you think you had a life?  
  
Garet: *stops pulling on his belongings and nods to Isaac* You know, you're right. OK! Let's just get out of here!   
  
Isaac: Get out of where? Vale is nice and peaceful. And I don't want pizza just yet. I'm trying to level up Isaac to Level 99 on my game.   
  
GARET JOINED YOUR PARTY.  
  
Isaac: What's a party?  
  
Garet: Forget it...let's go west across the bridge!  
  
Isaac: *leads Garet to the stairs upward to the Sol Sanctum*   
  
Garet: We shouldn't go north...that'll take us toward Mt. Aleph. The plaza is over that way. We need to head south.  
  
Isaac: *leads Garet to the stairs upward to the Sol Sanctum*   
  
Garet: We shouldn't go north...that'll take us toward Mt. Aleph.  
  
Isaac: *leads Garet to the stairs upward to the Sol Sanctum*   
  
Garet: We shouldn't go north...that'll take us toward Mt. Aleph.  
  
Isaac: Fine fine. Why can't I choose my own fate? Besides, south is blocked by scary falling insane boulders! *leads Garet west across the bridge and heads south and hear large boulders falling*  
  
Elder #1: Ahhh! The Boulder! It's falling!  
  
Isaac: Maybe it would occur to them that TWO ALREADY FELL AND NEARLY CRUSHED ME?  
  
*Isaac and Garet turn to the Elders, watching the Elders stop the boulder*  
  
Elder #2: Ugh...Ughnn...It's too heavy! We can't hold it for long!  
  
Isaac: How dramatic.  
  
Elder #3: If our Psynergy runs out, Vale will be destroyed!  
  
Isaac: I'd love Vale to be destroyed. Serves it right. What a crappy town.  
  
Elder #4: We have to hold on until the villagers are safe!  
  
Isaac: I AM THE ALL-POWERFUL VENUS ADEPT ISAAC!  
  
Elder: *hears it and turns* Hurry, boys! Run!!! It's just a little farther!  
  
Isaac: Yeah, to the Doom Dragon.  
  
Garet: Come on, Isaac, run! The Boulder is coming!   
  
Isaac: Another one?   
  
*Isaac and Garet run down the stairway and then southward*   
  
*Boulder falls in the way*  
  
Garet: We can't get around this rock!  
  
Isaac: So? It's not like we need to. The best way to head south is head north.  
  
Garet: We'll have to find another way.  
  
Isaac: WHY?!   
  
*Isaac and Garet run west and they spot another boulder*  
  
Isaac: Damn those boulders! I'll get you one day! *spots another one* AND ANOTHER ONE! THE HORROR!  
  
*Isaac and Garet walk up to a boy lying on the ground*  
  
Isaac: What happened to you, dawg? Haha.  
  
Boy: Rockslide...destroyed fence...Monsters everywhere...  
  
Isaac: I don't see a destroyed fence, monsters, or rocks. Other than the boulder next to you. So, you have any money on you?  
  
Boy: I'm hurt pretty badly...Do you think I'll die?  
  
Isaac: Uh...yeah, of course. How many money do you have with you? Do you have Golden Sun? Do you have a Level 99 Isaac?  
  
Boy: I knew it...This is it for me...Save yourselves...  
  
Isaac: But...I want all your possessions! :( Let's walk down that stairway to the south, Garet. Probably another boulder will fall and we'll have to dramatically prevent it from killing us.  
  
*Nothing happens as they walk east from the stairway*  
  
VERMIN APPEARED! ISAAC'S PARTY ATTACKS FIRST!  
  
Isaac: Oh crap we're all going to die! *looks in Psynergy listing* You have no Psynergy? What kind of crap is this!  
  
Garet: Use your Machete. It's used to do chores. You also have 3 Herbs, a Cotton Shirt, and Padded Gloves.  
  
Isaac: How the hell do you know all this? Have you been stalking me?  
  
Garet: Umm...no. I'm just smarter than you. For that account, I have one Machete, 3 Herbs, a Cotton Shirt, and Padded Gloves.  
  
VERMIN BITES ISAAC!  
  
Isaac: *faints* This is it for me...Save yourself...  
  
Garet: o_O Well, that's interesting. REVIVE THE VENUS ADEPT!  
  
Isaac: *is revived* WHA? Oh, attack!  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
VERMIN TAKES 9 DAMAGE!  
  
GARET ATTACKS!  
  
VERMIN TAKES 10 DAMAGE!  
  
Garet: Who's got the mad skills now?  
  
Isaac: Shut up.  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
VERMIN TAKES 5 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED VERMIN!  
  
YOU GOT 2 EXPERIENCE POINTS!  
  
Isaac: What's an experience point?  
  
YOU GOT 2 COINS.  
  
Isaac: What can two coins buy? Now I knew we should have taken the money from that dying dude.  
  
*Isaac and Garet continue eastward*  
  
BAT APPEARED!  
  
Isaac: I never knew there were bats flying around Vale...LET'S KILL THEM ALL WITH MY SOL BLADE!  
  
Garet: You don't have a Sol Blade. You have a Machete, though.  
  
Isaac: O_o Oh, right.   
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
BAT TAKES 17 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED BAT!  
  
YOU GOT 1 EXPERIENCE POINT.  
  
Isaac: w00t! I wonder what this is for! Looks like I've done more damage than you, silly redhead!  
  
YOU GOT 1 COIN.  
  
Garet: Man, can you ever shut up? We're supposed to save Felix!  
  
Isaac: Who's Felix?  
  
*Isaac and Garet continue to walk eastward until they spot a stairway up*  
  
Isaac: I'm climbing it so I can get crushed by a boulder!  
  
Garet: You won't. The boulders have all fallen.  
  
Isaac: I hate you, Garet. I really hate you :(   
  
*They walk southward*  
  
WILD MUSHROOM1 APPEARED!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM2 APPEARED!  
  
Isaac: ...  
  
Garet: ...  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM1 TAKES 12 DAMAGE!  
  
GARET ATTACKS!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM2 TAKES 11 DAMAGE!  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM1 TAKES 11 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED WILD MUSHROOM1!   
  
THE BOLEFUL GAZE OF WILD MUSHROOM2 TURNS UPON YOU!  
  
GARET ATTACKS!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM2 TAKES 16 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED WILD MUSHROOM2!  
  
WILD MUSHROOM'S PARTY GOES DOWN!  
  
YOU GOT 2 EXPERIENCE POINTS.  
  
YOU GOT 4 COINS.  
  
Isaac: ...what stupid mushrooms. They never attacked!  
  
Garet: That's right! That's because we're Gods!  
  
*They continue southward and down another stairway*  
  
Isaac: WHAT, A DEAD END?  
  
Garet: Isaac, you're so dumb. We're supposed to cross that bridge east, remember?  
  
Isaac: Oh yeah...but there's two giant fat boulders here! They'll kill us! And look...that's my house!  
  
Garet: o_O Let's just go south past these two stairways to the pizza...I mean plaza.  
  
Isaac: Pizza? We Asians love pizza!  
  
Garet: Asians?  
  
Isaac: Never mind. Let's go and die a miserable death!  
  
*Isaac and Garet go all the way down the stairways to find a boulder fall right in front of them*  
  
Isaac: How dramatic.  
  
Garet: Stop repeating that phrase! It's iritating me!  
  
*Isaac and Garet walks back up the stairways, west on the bridge, and back down the stairway*  
  
Isaac: See, look! This isn't a dead end! Look at that stairway down!  
  
Garet: You were the one that said this was a dead end!  
  
Isaac: Grrr fine. Let's charge down and trample everyone!  
  
*Isaac and Garet race down the stairway*  
  
Garet: *trips Isaac*  
  
Isaac: Hey, that was uncalled for!  
  
Jenna: Oh no! My brother!  
  
Isaac: What's a brother?  
  
Felix's Dad: Hang on, Felix!  
  
Isaac: Why can't the kid just fall in?  
  
Dora: Felix will be all right. We'll find a way to save him...  
  
Isaac: They must all have ADD. After all, why don't I get all the attention?  
  
*Felix falls in the river*  
  
Jenna: Nooooo! Felix!   
  
*Felix appears again*  
  
Isaac: How dramatic!  
  
Garet: SHUT UP ISAAC!  
  
Felix's Dad: The rope won't reach...We should use Psynergy. Do you have any left?  
  
Isaac: Uh, yea. Want me to use Ragnarok on Felix? Besides, why don't you queers use LASH! That saves everyone trouble!  
  
Felix's Mom: I've used all mine up. What about you, Kyle?  
  
Kyle: I'm drained from helping the other villagers...  
  
Isaac: Felix this, Felix that, blah blah blah.  
  
Dora: We have to get help.  
  
Isaac: Only 35 of us live in Vale, Dad! And half of them are dead!  
  
Kyle: I used it on that stupid guy who thought he died. Can Felix hang on long enough for us to find help?  
  
Isaac: No. Unfortunately he can. If he can jump off the Venus Lighthouse from a mile up and survive, he can survive a giant boulder than hits him head first.  
  
Dora: There's nothing else we can do for him here, is there?  
  
Isaac: Yep. Bye bye, Felix! Felix, it's Odyssey time! *uses Odyssey Psynergy on Felix*  
  
*Nothing happens to Felix*  
  
Isaac: What the heck?  
  
Kyle: Then go get help, but be as quick as possible!  
  
Isaac: No!  
  
Felix's Mom: Jenna, can you go too?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Felix's Mom: You'll go find help, right?  
  
Isaac: No. Isn't Felix's mom also Jenna's mom?  
  
Dora: Your brother is counting on you, Jenna.  
  
Isaac: I can't count!   
  
*Jenna nods*  
  
Dora: All right, let's get going!  
  
*Dora and Jenna go through the house and out the left door*  
  
Dora: I'll go north...You head for the plaza, all right?  
  
Jenna: Yes, ma'am. We're looking for anyone with any Psynergy left, right?  
  
Isaac: NO!  
  
*Dora heads north and Jenna heads south*  
  
*Dora crashes into Isaac*  
  
Isaac: Owww! Mom, that really hurt!  
  
Dora: Isaac!  
  
Isaac: Yea, that's what you named me.  
  
Dora: You saw what happened?  
  
Isaac: No, I had my eyes closed. Right, Garet?  
  
Garet: Nope.  
  
Dora: I'm looking for someone who can help Felix. He's fallen into the river.  
  
Isaac: Ummm Mom I think he jumped into the river!  
  
Dora: I don't suppose...Could the two of you help me?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Garet: Yes.  
  
Isaac: Yes.  
  
Garet: No.  
  
Isaac & Garet: No.  
  
Dora: You don't have to if you don't want to...Just get yourselves to the plaza.  
  
Isaac: For some pizza!  
  
*Dora runs north up the stairway*  
  
Isaac: We don't have a choice, do we?  
  
Garet: Why aren't we allowed to kill Felix?  
  
Isaac: Cause he's God of Vale.  
  
Garet: Oh.  
  
*Isaac and Garet run around the house southward to a stairway*  
  
Isaac: These are freaky. *shudders*  
  
Garet: Not really. *drags Isaac up the stairway and across the bridge to the east*   
  
VERMIN APPEARED!  
  
BAT APPEARED!  
  
Isaac: Wow, so they're sidekicks now?  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
VERMIN TAKES 11 DAMAGE!  
  
BAT ATTACKS!  
  
ISAAC TAKES 7 DAMAGE!  
  
Isaac: Ouch...I think I'm about to die. Sorry Garet.  
  
Garet: o_O  
  
GARET ATTACKS!  
  
BAT TAKES 16 DAMAGE!  
  
VERMIN ATTACKS!  
  
ISAAC TAKES 6 DAMAGE!  
  
Garet: Note how I take no damage...haha!  
  
Isaac: Bast*rd.  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
VERMIN TAKES 10 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED VERMIN!  
  
BAT ATTACKS!  
  
GARET TAKES 6 DAMAGE!  
  
Garet: O_o Haha at least I have 26 HP left. Isaac has 17!  
  
GARET ATTACKS!  
  
BAT TAKES 7 DAMAGE!  
  
YOU FELLED BAT!   
  
VERMIN'S PARTY GOES DOWN!  
  
YOU GOT 3 EXPERIENCE POINTS.  
  
YOU GOT 3 COINS.  
  
*Isaac and Garet continue east to the plaza*  
  
Isaac: So where do we go now that we're here?  
  
Garet: Search for living souls. These houses are empty, which means everyone's already died a tragic death!  
  
Isaac: Cool! *runs around houses*  
  
Garet: Why does he do that every time that someone dies?  
  
*Isaac and Garet walk down three stairways toward the south till they reach South Vale*  
  
Isaac: People here, Garet! Look at that chick there!  
  
Garet: You do that and get killed. But I'm going to check out the devastation of the boulders!  
  
Isaac: *stares* ok...sure...*drool*  
  
*Garet drags Isaac to the entrance of the inn*  
  
Isaac: Hey, you there! What happened to you? *snicker*  
  
Man: Ohhh...I'm exhausted. I used all my Psynergy deflecting falling rocks...  
  
Garet: *whispering* Doesn't he remind you of the other guy?  
  
Isaac: Hey, you got any money on you?  
  
Man: What do you take me as, a thief?  
  
Isaac: YES!  
  
Man: I'd kill you but I'm tired. I'll kill you later.  
  
Isaac: OK, I'll see you then.   
  
*Garet drags Isaac counterclockwise around the lake*  
  
Mayor: Go aid the Elders! The boulder is too heavy for them to hold much longer.   
  
Isaac: And HELP them prevent people from dying? I'm confused...   
  
Mayor: We can't let the Mt. Aleph boulder destroy the village.  
  
Isaac: YES, YES WE CAN!   
  
Men: Let's go help the Elders.  
  
Mayor: We're counting on you.  
  
*The two men run off*  
  
Garet: Grandpa! Jenna!  
  
Isaac: Coconuts! Cherries!  
  
Jenna: Garet, Isaac...You came to help me?  
  
Isaac: No, actually, I was just checking that chick. I'll be right back. *slips away*  
  
Garet: *nods, then goes over to Isaac, and drags him back to Jenna and the Mayor* Jenna told me about Felix. Is that why you're here?  
  
Isaac: No, actually, I was just checking that chick. I'll be right back. *slips away*  
  
Jenna: Wait...that's Felix, Isaac!  
  
Garet: *grabs Isaac and throws him to the Mayor again*   
  
Mayor: Well, regardless, I want you two to help Jenna.  
  
Isaac: *whispering* But Jenna's...ugly!  
  
Man at Psynergy Stone: Great! I'm all charged up!  
  
*Man hops over to the Mayor*  
  
Isaac: Poor cripple. *laughs*  
  
Mayor: How are you? Have you recovered your Psynergy?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Man: *nods* Enough to save Felix, thanks to the Psynergy Stone.  
  
Mayor: *nods* OK, Jenna, you heard him. Now hurry back!  
  
Jenna: *looks around confused on what to do next*  
  
Mayor: The path may be blocked by fallen rocks. You two can show the way!  
  
Garet: We can?  
  
Isaac: Let's see...two comes after one. Right?  
  
Jenna: *nods* ...Thank you, Isaac.  
  
JENNA AND MAN TEMPORARILY JOIN YOUR PARTY!  
  
Isaac: I don't want to go. The chick...  
  
Garet: SHUT UP! *blindfolds Isaac, covers his mouth, and drags him toward Felix*  
  
Jenna: Why is it Felix's Dad and Felix's Mom? Why can't it be Jenna's Dad and Jenna's Mom?  
  
*Garet, Jenna, and Man walk back up the stairways out of South Vale, dragging a screaming Isaac*  
  
Garet: We're there on the bridge above the river! *unblindfolds Isaac and sets him free*  
  
Isaac: Damn it Garet. She was hot! And...I'm not a slave you know!  
  
Garet: Say that again and I'll kill you.  
  
Jenna: Mom! Dad! We're back!  
  
Dora: Is that you, Jenna?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
*Dora runs over*  
  
Jenna: Yes, ma'am...  
  
Dora: I couldn't find anyone that could help...  
  
Isaac: Except Isaac.  
  
Dora: How did you do?  
  
Isaac: You see, I checked out this...  
  
*Man shows himself to Dora*  
  
Dora: You're just in time.   
  
Isaac: Time to witness the death of us all!  
  
Jenna: Then my brother is still...  
  
Isaac: Yep, dead from my Odyssey attack! HAHA!  
  
Dora: *nod* Felix is all right. He's hanging in there. Come down here and we can save Felix!   
  
Isaac: Damn it! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST FALL ALREADY!   
  
*Isaac and party nod reluctantly and come down the stairway*  
  
*the ground shakes*  
  
Isaac: HOW DRAMATIC!  
  
Jenna: *whacks Isaac with a tuna*  
  
Isaac: Where'd you get that out of?   
  
Jenna: ^_^  
  
Isaac: Gee, I wonder what this is? THE BOULDER! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
*everyone looks around nervously*  
  
Isaac: I love rain!  
  
*giant boulder passes Elders, drops on random cliffs next to river, drops past the waterfall, and falls*  
  
Isaac: Garet, RUN!  
  
*Isaac and Garet run under bridge*  
  
*Jenna runs to the side away from the river, Man with Psynergy trips, Felix's parents and Kyle scream*  
  
*Felix's parents and Kyle look up from the dock to see the falling boulder*  
  
*Falling boulder drops right on top of Kyle, Felix's parents, and Felix*  
  
Isaac: How could this boulder do what my Odyssey could not?!  
  
*everyone shakes from the horrific sight*   
  
Isaac: Not me. I love it! *bursts out in laughs of joy*  
  
Dora: No...It can't be. Kyle...It must be a dream...  
  
Isaac: I love dreams...especially about a...  
  
Jenna: Mom...Dad...Felix...Please...Don't leave me all alone...  
  
Isaac: That's right!  
  
Garet: Isaac...The Boulder...We need to get help, or everyone will drown...  
  
Isaac: Didn't four of them already drown?  
  
Garet: NO! They didn't. See? *points a raging water with nothing in it*  
  
Man: Oooh...I'll go...I'll go get help! It's no use. I can't move...Isaac, please get help!  
  
Isaac: Why me? I'm the hero.  
  
*Isaac runs south up the stairway and across the bridge to the east*  
  
Garet: Isaac...I can't let him go alone...It's times like these that we men have to stand together!  
  
Jenna: And women.  
  
*Garet runs toward Isaac*  
  
Person We Don't Know So We'll Call Him Mystery Man: Only the two of us survived...  
  
*Isaac looks up to see the Mystery Man on the cliff near the Plaza*  
  
Person We Don't Know So We'll Call Her Mystery Woman: How could we have anticipated Sol   
  
Sanctum would unleash such fury?  
  
Mystery Man: It's a miracle even the two of us were spared.  
  
Mystery Woman: *looking north* That switch. It must have been a trap.  
  
Mystery Man: *looking north* But to think it could conjure up a storm this powerful!  
  
Mystery Woman: *shakes head* Another demonstration of the awesome powers of alchemy.  
  
Mystery Man: Regardless, we must not fail next time we challenge Sol Sanctum.  
  
Mystery Woman: *nods* Next time, we shall certainly...  
  
Garet: Isaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaac! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait! *runs up to Isaac*  
  
*Mystery Man and Woman hear the loud shout and go down to spot Garet reaching Isaac*  
  
Garet: Are you staring at that chick?  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Garet: Liar.  
  
Isaac: Shut up Garet! I was trying to spy on these very evilly mental people!   
  
Mystery Man: *nods* You were eavesdropping on us just now, weren't you?   
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Garet: Yes.  
  
Isaac: Yes.  
  
Garet: No.  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Garet: Yes.  
  
Isaac: Yes.  
  
Garet: No.  
  
Isaac & Garet: No. *shakes head*  
  
Garet: Isaac... *walks up to Isaac* They look scary...Are you sure you should be talking to them?  
  
Isaac: Yes, I'm trying to foil their plot to conquer the world by lighting the lighthouses.  
  
Garet: What?!  
  
Isaac: Never mind.  
  
Mystery Woman: You must forget everything you've heard.  
  
Mystery Man: Don't worry...We'll help you forget!  
  
*Mystery Woman and Mystery Man leap from ledge and prepare for battle*  
  
MYSTERY WOMAN APPEARED!  
  
MYSTERY MAN APPEARED!  
  
Isaac: I summon...Iris!   
  
Garet: I summon...Charon!  
  
ISAAC ATTACKS!  
  
MYSTERY MAN TAKES 3 DAMAGE!  
  
Isaac: O_o DAMN IRIS! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DO TWO THOUSAND!  
  
MYSTERY WOMAN USES DEATH SIZE!  
  
GARET TAKES 55 DAMAGE!  
  
GARET GOES DOWN...  
  
Garet: This is it...save yourself.  
  
MYSTERY MAN CASTS FIREBALL!   
  
ISAAC TAKES 74 DAMAGE!!!  
  
ISAAC GOES DOWN...  
  
ISAAC'S PARTY HAS BEEN DEFEATED!  
  
*Mystery Man and Woman nod and jump like monkeys out of South Vale*  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
To be continued... 


	2. Vale: Three years and not a sin' thing h...

Golden Sun: What You Call Messed Up  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Golden Sun, and neither do you. It's owned by Camelot! Unless of course, you're Camelot, then I have nothing to say. I do have a version of the games, however, but that doesn't count. This is an attempted humorous retelling of the beginning of Golden Sun, with its constant twists. Help from Flame, Taboo, and Rikku.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter 2: Vale: Three years and not a s***in' thing happened  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
THREE YEARS LATER...  
  
Isaac: ...to the day I die.  
  
*Jenna walks up the stairways, halts to let a woman past, and watches Isaac pretend to patch the roof*  
  
Isaac: Stupid fu*king roof...  
  
Dora: Isaac! Haven't you finished mending the roof yet?  
  
Isaac: *intentionally breaks a chunk of the roof with his feet and falls straight onto his bed*  
  
Isaac: Nothing like a nap...*thinking* If I don't mend it maybe another boulder will come and crush Mom!  
  
Dora: You're almost done! OK, keep at it!  
  
Isaac: *snicker* It might occur to you that I'm inside the house, not on top of the roof!  
  
Jenna: *nods and walks up to the stairway to Garet's house and hears Garet*  
  
Garet: Hyaa!  
  
Isaac: When did Garet learn karate?  
  
Jenna: *jumps up* Hee hee...Still training, Garet?  
  
Isaac: He needs to... He still can't even do move... *snicker*  
  
Garet: Hyaaaa! *Garet moves his house 3 feet left*  
  
Isaac: WHA!!!  
  
Jenna: You sure do put your heart into it, Garet!  
  
Garet's Dad: Dammit Garet! Stop moving the house!  
  
Garet: Damn straight. Oh, I'm just finishing up.  
  
Jenna: That's good. It's time to go, and I was about to leave you behind.   
  
Garet: *confused*  
  
Jenna: Say, what exactly happened to you two?  
  
Isaac: Good! I need time with Jenna, even though shes ugly... mwa...  
  
Garet: *confused*  
  
Jenna: The accident three years ago... Is that why you've been studying Psynergy?  
  
Garet: No...you see I hate my parents so I decided to move the house to get them chasing after me...  
  
Garet's Family: That's right!  
  
*Impressive scene of family chasing Garet*  
  
Kay: YOU MOVED THE HOUSE ON MY FLOWERS!! AHHH! *chases Garet*  
  
Garet: Sister! It wasn't my fault!  
  
Garet: It was...uhhh... Jenna!  
  
Jenna: I appreciate your concern, but...my family's never coming back, and neither is Isaac's father...  
  
*Garet's family starts chasing Jenna*  
  
Isaac: Yeah.. and it's all your fault!  
  
Jenna: AIYEE!!! *running around*  
  
Jenna: I just want to forget that day. I wish everyone would...*shakes head*  
  
Isaac: I do too.. I got my butt handed to me by two members of ICP... *climbs back up out of the roof*  
  
Garet: That awful day...We went to get help, but they found us unconscious...  
  
Jenna: Well, let's get Isaac and go to Kraden's...  
  
Garet: *stutters*  
  
Jenna: What, Garet?  
  
Garet: *shakes head*  
  
Jenna: What is it?   
  
Garet: *jiggles like JELL-O for no reason at all*  
  
Jenna: *shakes head* Don't be weird, Garet. Whatever...  
  
Garet: Jenna, are you mad at me?  
  
Isaac: YES!  
  
Garet: *confused*  
  
Jenna: *shakes head* I don't want to talk about it.  
  
Garet: *confused*  
  
Jenna: Come on!!!  
  
Garet: Huh?   
  
Jenna: *nods to Garet* Isaac is waiting for us.  
  
Garet: But, Jenna...! *shakes*  
  
Jenna: I'll leave you behind if you're too slow.  
  
Garet: *tries to walk slow, but with some Psynergy, he is forced to move* AHHH! WHAT THE?!  
  
Jenna: ^_^  
  
Garet: Jenna...  
  
*Both nod and walk toward Isaac, who has been staring the whole time*  
  
Isaac: *pretends to finish mending the roof*  
  
Dora: Good job, Isaac. You patched it nicely.  
  
Isaac: *thinks to self* I sure did...  
  
Dora: *nods* All right. You're all done. You're very reliable, Isaac...just like your father was...  
  
Isaac: YES! Off to play my GBA SP!  
  
Dora: What is it, Isaac? Do you still think about the accident?  
  
Isaac: Hell no...but I did love every moment of it! Especially when Felix got crushed by that boulder! *grins widely*  
  
Dora: *shakes head* I don't believe you...o_O WHAT?   
  
Isaac: I said especially when Felix ate a folder!   
  
Dora: Oh...^_^ You and Garet have been working yourselves to the bone studying Psynergy.  
  
Jenna: AND JENNA!  
  
Isaac: Oh yes, lets not forget the ugly girl... o_O  
  
Dora: *turns* Do you think things would be any different if you'd had stronger abilities?  
  
Isaac: Damn right. I wish I had Grand Gaia right now to waste this house. Also, I could go to the past and kill Felix faster!  
  
Dora: That's what I thought. I was devastated when Kyle died...I felt all alone...  
  
Isaac: Yup, cause I left the house every day to go spear fishing. Fishing...for people!  
  
Dora: It's taken some time, but I'm better now. *nods to Isaac* I still have you, Isaac.   
  
Isaac: Not for long! I suddenly feel an urge to burn the house down.  
  
Dora: What was that?  
  
Isaac: I said I feel an urge to churn the milk gown!  
  
Dora: Oh, OK then.  
  
Jenna: Thats a poor excuse...  
  
Dora: You're almost seventeen. You're so much like Kyle was when he was young. I'm looking forward to seeing where life takes you.  
  
Isaac: To hell! Uhh...I'm looking forward to seeing Felix again.  
  
Jenna: *walks up onto roof* MA'AAAAM!!! *afraid Dora can't hear her yelling*  
  
Dora: Hello, Jenna.  
  
Dora: *Right next to Jenna* WHAT?! *falls off roof*  
  
Isaac: Great! Now where were we...  
  
Dora: Hello, Jenna.  
  
Garet: How you'd see Felix again in hell Isaac?  
  
Jenna: Good morning.  
  
Dora: Yes, yes... Good morning.  
  
Isaac: It looks like a good morning to TP some houses...  
  
*Garet climbs up roof*  
  
Dora: Well, if it isn't Garet, too!  
  
Garet: Hoi.  
  
Dora: Where do you all plan to go today?  
  
Isaac: Damn, not him!  
  
Garet: To fight Dullahan.  
  
Isaac: To go graffiti Sol Sanctum.  
  
Garet: We're going to Mt. Aleph with Kraden.  
  
Isaac: To graffiti it.  
  
Garet: Yea.  
  
Isaac: What, the old man that killed the Brazilian soccer player near the boulder?  
  
Garet: What's a Brazilian?  
  
Isaac: ^_^  
  
Isaac: ^_^  
  
Dora: Mountain climbing with Kraden, eh?  
  
Garet: *nods and turns to Jenna*  
  
Dora: Kids and their games...  
  
Isaac: I got mine! *holds up Golden Sun*  
  
Jenna: No! It's a part of our studies!   
  
Dora: Ah, yes...Alchemy.  
  
Isaac: The Alchemy of raining doom! MWA!  
  
Garet: Bless you!  
  
*Garet and Jenna nod while Isaac plays Golden Sun again*  
  
Dora: Alchemy is the foundation of all Psynergy...  
  
*Garet and Jenna nods*  
  
Isaac: So? Woot! I got a Hard Nut! *is now playing TLA* Hey does anyone a Shebaist?  
  
*Garet and Jenna nod*  
  
Isaac: REALLY?  
  
Garet: Yea, you didn't know?  
  
Isaac: Teacher? He falls asleep in the middle of his lessons!  
  
Dora: *turns around* Alchemy...I wonder what use it all is?  
  
Isaac: As I said before! To rain impending doom!  
  
*Garet turns to Jenna again*  
  
Isaac: o_O *thinking* They ain't in love with each other, are they? Nah...Jenna's...ugly!  
  
Dora: Your mother would rather see you grow up to be a happy, ordinary man.  
  
Isaac: But I'm not!  
  
*Everyone notices the pouring rain*  
  
Isaac: Damn Jupiter adepts! They're making it rain here!  
  
Dora: But I suppose you still want to go...  
  
Isaac: No!  
  
Garet: Yes!  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Garet: No!  
  
Jenna: Both!  
  
Isaac: Maybe so?  
  
Isaac and Garet: *look at each other*   
  
Dora: Well, if that won't persuade you, nothing will! You're just stubborn as your father!  
  
Isaac: Damn straight!  
  
Dora: Ahhh!  
  
Isaac: What?  
  
Garet: Be careful, ma'am!  
  
Isaac: *grins evilly as they watch Dora fall off the roof*  
  
Jenna: Garet, don't!  
  
*Garet makes a gigantic hole in the roof*  
  
Isaac: That's two!  
  
Dora: Oh! That was exciting!  
  
Isaac: I made it myself... cept it was supposed to get hot chicks that fall from the sky, like Sheba.  
  
Dora: *jumps from ground onto roof* I'm sorry I scared you like that.  
  
Isaac: Wow, Mom! I never knew you were such an international high jumper!  
  
Dora: ^_^  
  
Isaac: How could she jump that high! And I am not scared! I wanted you to fall!  
  
Dora: Well!  
  
Isaac: *gives her the anime tongue out with eye thing*  
  
Garet: I... I'm sorry, ma'am. I'll get out of your way right away!  
  
*Garet jumps back*  
  
Jenna: Wait! Not there!  
  
Garet: Huh? What's wrong with- *falls into the hole above Isaac's bed*  
  
Isaac: I did it again... I knew I did a bad job! ;) I'm an uber l33t genius!  
  
*Everyone looks away from Garet*  
  
Dora: Oh, never mind...  
  
Isaac: HAHA!  
  
Dora: Bad Isaac! Stop wishing death on people! But you'd better get going...The old house will fall apart if you stay much longer. I'll get this fixed up. You don't have to hang around here.  
  
Issac: Don't make me use Charon on your a**!  
  
Dora: ...  
  
Isaac: I'll make sure it falls apart...hay is fire's best friend... Jenna! Cast Flare! *thinking* Heh...if she falls would it kill her?  
  
Garet: Dude Isaac, remember last time? Iris did 3 damage! It can't do any more this time with Charon!  
  
Issac: WELL IT BETTER WORK THIS TIME!!! That was against the monkey things.  
  
Jenna: *nods* Thank you, ma'am.  
  
Issac: I'm gonna blow you up now!  
  
Dora: Please, call me Dora.  
  
Garet: We'll get going right away!  
  
Isaac: DORA DORA DORA DORA DORA DORA!  
  
Dora: Wait, Garet... Just watch your step.  
  
GARET AND JENNA JOIN YOUR PARTY!  
  
Isaac: How unfortunate. Now...about burning the house down. Garet, Jenna?  
  
Garet & Jenna: *stare at Isaac*  
  
Issac: Why do I always hang around with you two?  
  
Garet: My Psynergy sucks.  
  
Jenna: I'm not that type of girl.  
  
ISAAC USES SERPENT FUME!  
  
Isaac: Oops, we're still up on the roof of this house. We're all going to die!  
  
SERPENT FUME CANNOT BE CASTED HERE!  
  
Isaac: Oh, phew.  
  
Isaac: *walks down the ladder from the roof* The end is near and we're all gonna die, tra la la la la!  
  
Garet & Jenna: *continue staring at Isaac*  
  
Isaac: What? You see dead people or something?  
  
Garet: Ya.  
  
Isaac: Is it Felix?  
  
Jenna: Ya, you.  
  
Garet: Isaac's a HIL.  
  
Dora: *comes down from roof down the ladder and nods to Isaac*  
  
Isaac: Why're you nodding to me?! WHAT IS EVERYONE STARING AT ME FOR?!  
  
Isaac: Right! *notices gasoline and a match next to the hut and takes the match*  
  
Garet & Jenna: ...  
  
Isaac: Any help? No? *lights the house on fire*  
  
*house burns down instantly*  
  
Isaac: Oh crap! I just remembered I left my Sol Blade and Game Cube in there! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Garet: Serves ya right! Hel... Wait... I left my candy in there!!! Sh*t!!!  
  
Jenna: Stop the swearing, damn it!  
  
Isaac: You just swore.  
  
Jenna: Oh...right...heh heh...  
  
Garet: Ha ha! Jenna got scolded by Isaac! *gets smashed on the head with Jenna's rod*  
  
Isaac: So we going already? I wanted to go in the Sol Sanctum three years ago   
  
but stupid Garet said killing Felix was more important!  
  
Issac: *cuts Jenna's rod in half with the Machete*  
  
Jenna: o_O  
  
Garet: After my headache goes away... oww...  
  
Isaac: And no more singing!  
  
Garet & Jenna: What?!  
  
Isaac: Just kidding.  
  
*Isaac, Garet, and Jenna finally start moving north toward the Sol Sanctum*  
  
Elder: Srop you retards!  
  
Issac: Sh*t, it's the cops!  
  
Elder: Srop? *walks around repeating 'Srop' over and over*  
  
Issac: Run for your pathetic lives!  
  
*Isaac and company run across the bridge west*  
  
Garet: What exactly are we RUNNING from?  
  
Isaac: The beastie.  
  
Garet: I dont see any beasties...  
  
Sheba: You're running from SROP! RUN DAMNIT RUN!  
  
Isaac: It's Sheba! w00t!  
  
Sheba: My a**, now RUN!  
  
Jenna: Are you hallucinating, Isaac? And who is Sheba?  
  
*Elder walks on screen from the left*  
  
Issac: The hot a** chick that just fell from the sky!  
  
*All others run left screaming like maniacs*  
  
Isaac: Huh?  
  
Mystery Woman: At long last, the time has come to light Venus Lighthouse's beacon.  
  
Isaac: Cool! I can see into the future!  
  
Jenna: That's Ivan, you twit.  
  
Isaac: How would YOU know him? Got a crush?  
  
Jenna: Ummm...  
  
Isaac: That's what I thought!  
  
Mystery Man: With the second beacon lit, only two will remain.  
  
Isaac & Garet: Eh?  
  
Mystery Woman: No. Lighting Jupiter is virtually the same as lighting Mars.  
  
Isaac: These guys are weird... one of them looks like a member of ICP.  
  
Garet: Or the IRS.  
  
Mystery Man: That is really true. It is the same as lighting Mars.  
  
Felix: That's right. Your dreams are within your grasp now.  
  
Jenna: IS THAT REALLY FELIX?!  
  
Mystery Woman: *spots Jenna* Oh hi. We were rehearsing our lines.  
  
Jenna: *boils* REHEARSE YOUR DAMN LINES LATER! WE ARE ON!  
  
Mystery Woman: You see, we made a mirage for our play.  
  
Mystery Man: They seem to know a little of Sol Sanctum's mysteries.  
  
Isaac: *unloads Jenna and Garet all his back* Can you call me a donkey?! Garet weighed as much as an elephant!  
  
Garet: Screw you monkey boy!  
  
Mystery Man: What'd you just call me?  
  
Jenna: Elepha...I mean Garet! Let's get going.  
  
Garet: What time tonight?  
  
Mystery Man: The elders of Vale must not permit anyone to enter it, not even Kraden.  
  
Isaac: I was talking to him, monkey boy.  
  
Mystery Woman: *turns to Mystery Man* Kraden, can we use him?  
  
Issac: Go ahead. We don't need him.  
  
Mystery Man: Use him?? Huh?  
  
Isaac: I'd recognize that evil music anywhere!  
  
Isaac: Its ICP! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!  
  
Saturos: *nods* Hmm...His knowledge is no meager thing. ...We can use him.  
  
Garet: What does meager mean?  
  
Jenna: It means ordinary, you dumba**.  
  
Issac: it means starved.  
  
Felix: *pops out of nowhere* THAT'S ENOUGH! NOW FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!  
  
Isaac: *sings* Use me, abuse me, try and confuse me...  
  
Garet: Dude, you're so rude! *kicks Felix*  
  
Jenna: *slaps Issac* No singing, remember?  
  
Felix: OW!  
  
Issac: Awwwwww...  
  
Kraden: Little carolers have come to visit!  
  
Jenna: Garet, Felix would teach you not to mistreat your elders! Now say sorry to that poor elder!  
  
Felix: Me, elder?  
  
Garet: *snickers* Sorry old MAN.  
  
Mystery Woman: But he's more stubborn that we expected...  
  
Isaac: Who, me? Can we kill Felix now?  
  
Mystery Man: *nods* And cunning, too... Cunning beyond measure.  
  
Garet: What Felix? I see no Felix...that's Kraden!  
  
Isaac: I'm cunning too! YES!  
  
Mystery Woman: If he won't go willingly, then we can always...  
  
Isaac: YOU WON'T TAKE ME ALIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!  
  
*Mystery Woman and Man finally spots Isaac, Garet, and Jenna and run to them*  
  
Ivan: *pops out of nowhere* COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!  
  
Issac: Nooo!  
  
Mystery Man: You there! What are you doing?  
  
Isaac: Drinking a beer, picking my nose, throwing rocks at trees, you?  
  
Garet: I'm ripping a new leaf.  
  
Jenna: Uhhh... you don't need to know what I am doing.  
  
Garet: What are we doing?  
  
Isaac: Picking my nose.  
  
Mystery Woman: Were you eavesdropping on our conversation?  
  
Isaac: Nope. I was picking my nose  
  
Garet: Hey, Isaac! Wasn't this Mystery Woman the hot chick you were looking for?  
  
Mystery Woman: Question?  
  
Isaac: Yes...shoot.  
  
Garet: No.  
  
Jenna: Yes.  
  
Isaac: No.  
  
Garet: Yes.  
  
Jenna: No.  
  
All at the same time: YES!  
  
Mystery Woman: Oh ho! Well...  
  
Mystery Man: Can we get along with the introductions now?  
  
Isaac: YAY! SANTA CLAUS IS HERE!  
  
Mystery Woman: I can't permit you to continue your spying.   
  
Isaac: Remember how much damage I did to you last time when I used Iris? Bring it on!  
  
Garet: Yep. A whole load of THREE DAMAGE! *rolls eyes*  
  
Mystery Man: Answer us!  
  
Garet: Hey, you're the ones who were sneaking around!  
  
Issac: Hey! I've gotten better! I'm up to 4 damage now! Sneak?  
  
Mystery Man: Sneaking... Who are you, to accuse me?  
  
Isaac: The God of Vale! I took Felix's position since last time.  
  
Mystery Woman: So Kraden's engagement was with you...  
  
Isaac: That's sick. I dont wanna marry an old man!  
  
Jenna: Yeah, we're off to meet him right now.  
  
Isaac: Gods don't marry old men!  
  
Isaac: He looks like a wizard... why don't we sing that song?  
  
Issac: eh?  
  
Garet: Which song?  
  
All others: NO SINGING!!!!!!  
  
Isaac: *singing* We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz...  
  
Mystery Man: And this appointment is important enough to drive us away?  
  
Garet: Damn right.  
  
Isaac: Actually, no. If you give me Sheba, I'll even give you my Game Boy Advance. OR MIA!  
  
Garet: Who is this Sheba you keep talking about?  
  
Jenna: And what is this Game Toy Davance you keep speaking of?  
  
Isaac: IT'S GAME BOY ADVANCE YOU DUMB BROAD!  
  
Mystery Man: Pfeh! If your errand is mportant than our own, then...*thinks for a minute*  
  
Issac: Or Sheba and Mia. I could use a bit of threesome action!  
  
Garet: DAMN IT! You remind me of FlamewireInvoker?  
  
Isaac: Who dat?  
  
Garet: Never mind.  
  
Mystery Man: Go...  
  
Jenna: You're letting us go?  
  
Isaac: GO? Isn't that the place you pass to gain 200 dollars?  
  
Garet: ...  
  
Isaac: Money... excellent...*singing* We're off to Imil, and then to   
  
Lalivero, guess what I have here, money for the God of Vale!  
  
Garet: God, God, God...sucks at singing! *smacks Isaac with a giant trout*   
  
Shut up!  
  
Mystery Woman: Are you sure, Saturos?  
  
Saturos: DAMN IT! YOU BLEW MY TRAP!  
  
Issac: since when did you have a trout?  
  
Mystery Woman: ^_^  
  
Saturos: Now they know my name... DAMMIT! So I'll blow yours! Menardi, we have no reason to delay these children any further.  
  
Menardi: YOU SAID MY NAME! I HATE YOU! *takes out scythe*  
  
Issac: Shut up you two, or I'll blow you all up!  
  
Saturos: Bring it on whelp! You won't live to regret your stupidity! *draws sword*  
  
Saturos & Menardi: *beating the everlasting sh*t out of each other*  
  
Garet: Let's... Let's go, Isaac.  
  
Issac: JUDGEMENT!!!!!!  
  
Jenna: Let them flush their personal problems..  
  
*Isaac and company quickly run west and up the stairway after Saturos and   
  
Menardi start killing each other*  
  
Isaac: My money's on the ICP girl! o_O Nah I love Sheba...or Mia...or both! The people that own you.  
  
Old Man: They already know too much about Sol Sanctum...things that even the elders of Vale don't know. And what were they saying about the elements? The elements of Alchemy: Earth, Water, Fire, and Wind...  
  
*Isaac, Garet, and Jenna stares at the old man walking around on the cliff next to his house for 5 minutes*  
  
Isaac: And HEART! CAPTAIN PLANET!!! What on Venus is he doing?  
  
Garet: Venus?  
  
Old Man: They plan to set them into motion? And the four Elemental Stars are the key? These are things even I, a trained Alchemy sage, do not know.   
  
*Isaac nudges Old Man*  
  
Isaac: Captain Planet...I'm free! Sage. HAH! You don't even know any Psynergy, old man!  
  
Old Man: Oh! Isaac...  
  
Jenna: You look like something's bothering you.  
  
Old Man: Me? Ah, well...  
  
Issac: Let me show the true power of psynergy!  
  
Old Man: Oh ya, my name's Kraden.  
  
Isaac, Jenna, and Garet: We knew that already.  
  
Garet: It's those two, isn't it? Saturos and Menardi were their names, right?  
  
*Isaac looks down the cliff to see them still clashing*  
  
Kraden: Are they still out there? They're very persistent...  
  
Isaac: Especially on each other... They don't look so tough though...  
  
Jenna: Did they want something from you, Kraden?   
  
Kraden: *nods* That seems to be the case...  
  
Isaac: And they look like those Jesse and James fellows from that Pokemon game I like...  
  
Garet, Jenna, Mia, Sheba, Felix, Alex, Saturos, Menardi, Babi, & Piers: POKEMON?!  
  
Isaac: Wha? Where'd you all come from?  
  
Jenna: Seems to be?  
  
Kraden: Mt. Aleph and Sol Sanctum... They spoke as if they'd seen them with   
  
their own eyes... Isn't that strange?  
  
Isaac: No!  
  
Jenna: Yes.  
  
Garet: NO!  
  
Issac: Maybe?  
  
Isaac, Jenna, & Garet: *all look at each other* YES!  
  
Kraden: *nods* Yes. You can't enter Mt. Aleph without a very good reason.   
  
Isaac: Is graffiting it a good reason? Isaac: I got a reason.  
  
Jenna: And if they entered secretly, then they might be thieves!  
  
Garet: We have to go tell the high elders and the villagers!  
  
Isaac: Ummm, we can't do that. They all ran away after you yelled "POKEMON?!" *thinks* I enter Garet's house secretly all the time, it don't mean I'm a thief...  
  
*Isaac and company turn to leave*  
  
Garet: I sneak into Jenna's room...  
  
Kraden: Wait, everyone! I still don't know how accurate the things they said were... We can do nothing until we confirm what they told me.   
  
Jenna: But I don't live in Vale.  
  
Isaac: *looks at the place where Saturos and Menardi were fighting* They're gone! Blood ain't though...  
  
Jenna: Then what should we do?  
  
Kraden: Well, we go confirm it.  
  
Garet: ...Do you mean we should go into Sol Sanctum ourselves?  
  
Isaac: ...  
  
Garet: Do you listen to what I say Issac?  
  
Isaac: No...hey where was that chick in South Vale?  
  
Kraden: o_O Let's go in.  
  
Jenna: Isn't that impossible?  
  
Kraden: Why would it be?  
  
Isaac: You said so...  
  
Kraden: Just because climbing Mt. Aleph is forbidden?  
  
Isaac: Yes.  
  
Garet: No.  
  
Jenna: Yes.  
  
Isaac: Maybe.  
  
All: Yes!  
  
Kraden: We're just going to see whether they've been to the mountain. Surely, that would be acceptable!  
  
Garet: We'll be fine if they don't see us, right?  
  
Isaac: No!  
  
Garet: Yes! Sure, you say no, but you know you want to!  
  
Isaac: Master my golf putts?  
  
Jenna: This will be just be our secret, OK?  
  
Isaac: Yes!  
  
Garet: No!  
  
Garet: NO!  
  
Both: Sure why not? :P  
  
Kraden: Then it's decided!  
  
Isaac: Where's the nearest golf course?  
  
Jenna: Lemuria.  
  
Isaac: LEMURIA?!  
  
Kraden: We'll make you the leader, OK, Isaac?  
  
Isaac: Hell ya! I'm the God of Vale!  
  
Garet: There are some dangerous places between Mt. Aleph and Sol Sanctum, but you can handle it, right, Isaac?  
  
Isaac: ...No.  
  
Jenna: You're more cautious than Garet is, Isaac, so you'll be fine!  
  
Isaac: ...NO.  
  
Garet: You don't have to be so blunt...  
  
*Kraden hops into his house*  
  
Isaac: I can't kill woodland creatures but people..  
  
Kraden: *goes into house and steals something from his desk* This is our best bet. All right! Let's go!   
  
THE SCHOLAR KRADEN PRETENDS TO JOIN YOUR PARTY!  
  
*Isaac and company go down the stairway, east to the next, up that and across the bridge back into North Vale*  
  
Isaac: I'm getting airsick. You? *walks up across the temple next to the entrance of Sol Sanctum and gets knocked back by an elder*  
  
Garet: *vomits* no...  
  
Elder: You're not planning on sneaking up to Mt. Aleph, are you?  
  
Isaac: No, I'm a good boy!  
  
Elder: SROP!  
  
Garet: *vomits* No...  
  
Elder: Well, I'll overlook it this time... But I've got my eye on you, Isaac. *starts walking right, eyes turning right*  
  
Isaac: *sneaks to the left but Elder stops him*  
  
Elder: You're not planning on sneaking up to Mt. Aleph, are you?  
  
Isaac: No, I'm a good boy!  
  
Elder: SROP!  
  
Garet: *vomits* No...  
  
Elder: Well, I'll overlook it this time... But I've got my eye on you, Isaac. *starts walking right, eyes turning right*  
  
Isaac: *waits till Elder turns corner dumbly, temple blocking his eyesight* HAHA, SUCKER! LET'S RUN TO THE SOL ENTRANCE!  
  
Garet & Jenna: *run with Isaac to the Sol Entrance* 


End file.
